Sunday, July 06, 2008

Will miss 23

I don't want time to pass by anymore. Can somebody please stop the time for me? I am 23 and I will be 24 in a few days. But I do not want to be 24. I am contended being 23 and want to remain 23 forever.

I had a wonderful time as 23. Coming out to the UK, living a life that I had aspired to live since a long time, doing a wonderful course, achieving some sense of fulfilment as regards to career, meeting international people and making them good friends, enjoying my daily new crushes, going out for cinema with friends followed by drinks and dance, sitting in my room and studying for hours without any disturbance, working on various coding projects and then dreaming about those computing codes, eating nice food cooked by me :-) , failed endeavour of making it to the gym and the swimming pool, roaming around London with elder brother, missing home and talking to them for hours over the phone, and lots more. I will miss 23.

Last year when I was about to be 23, I wrote this post: Take charge at 23 and that reflected how dissatisfied and unhappy I was about going on to become a 23 year old girl without the knowledge and maturity of taking her own decisions. But this year I realise, it is not only that to be able to take decisions is important, but more important is to have the right attitude to be able to follow and concretise the decision that you have taken. Decisions may be right or wrong, good or bad, but important is the way you attempt to stand by them and derive your life out of them. I don't claim to have taken the right decisions always, but I will not say that I have taken wrong decisions either. I will not judge them as right or wrong anymore. I would just say that I have taken some decisions on my own and I will see how they go.

Other reason for not letting go with the age of 23 is that there are lots of things that I want to do before growing old, lots of changes that I plan to bring about in my life and in others lives in my own way. I am moving towards it, but then it is taking more time than I had imagined in the first draft of dreaming about it. The dreaming drafts are getting more complex, and hence they demand more time. Either I need to be young to be able to do all that, or I get somebody to spend a life with who understands me. Not sure of how the second option will turn out to be, so I want to remain young, I want to remain 23.

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