I am a research scholar in Mathematics and thought of writing a piece on the decline that research in
Research in
The first and the most disturbing being the total disrespect to the sancitity that research and researchers command. The society who is naive about research sees a researcher in high esteem but it's the people who are a part of the system who make a researcher look like nothing more than a person whon has lost out on other options in life. I am a Mathematics Olympiad certificate holder, a CBSE merit-cum-scholarship awardee, an NBHM, Department of Atomic Energy Scholarship holder, a CSIR-UGC fellowship holder, but all these laurels seem to be of no particular value when I see the attitude the department and supervisors have towards researchers in general. They make you believe indebted to them for allowing you to do research each and every moment. I have been asked by a well-wisher in the department not to revolt against the system as that is not going to help, rather to get things done feeling subdued and submissive.
I have only one thing to question, despite getting offers of lucrative courses like MBA I listened to my calling and went for research, then why am I made to feel everyday that it was the garvest mistake I committed in life? Why during the peak years of our creativity, youth, energy and rigor we are asked to remain subdued so that our work gets done?
This is not the only problem, during research one grows old enough and is expected to maintain the family. A scholarship of Rs. 8000 per month hardly suffices in today's market. Though there is little hope in this respect as recently the government has got alarmed by the seriousness of the issue and has thereby increased the expenditure on research and so things can be hoped to improve.
But still there remains the problem of the lack of a job security even if a 'subdued' you somehow manages to complete research with that meagre Rs. 10000 per month when you know that had you put even half that amount of labour in some other field you would have been touching the skies.
The only pull factor that research carries now is when people courageously decide to hear their calling and take up research despite being aware of the odds. If this continues and nothing is done urgently, the motivation of listening to one's calling would burn off in no time.
The need of the hour is to give each and every researcher their due respect and every possible help to complete the streneous journey of five years of aimless wandering at the peak of their youths. The need of the hour is a little cooperation and motivation from the stalwarts and the policy-makers of the field. The need of the hour is to realise that research is declining and so it's important to motivate the prospective researchers and provide an inspriring working environment so that they don't go hunting for greener pastures.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Research, does it still pull?
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Take charge at 23
I would be 23 in a few days, and I don’t feel myself adequate as yet to carry the mantle of that age. I don’t feel I am matured enough to be called a 23 year old girl. I don’t know how to take decisions as yet, decisions here do not mean whether to have a pizza for lunch or a plate of rajma pulao, but they mean the big ones. I have always looked for somebody to counsel me and guide me, to help me take up major decisions. You would instantly say but there nothing wrong in asking for help. There is, if the help is persistent, if in the course of asking help you forget that you have a mind of your own, if you keep relying on other people for help all the time, if you are too impressionable to change decisions on even slightest influences, if you stop taking your own life and situations into consideration and let yourself being framed into the setting of the other person who tries to help you by giving his own examples. So now I am sure you would agree on why I feel myself inadequate.
If I retrospect I see that I have always eaten with the spoon that was brought to my mouth, never really taking my hands out to choose a spoon. Even if after being persistently asked to choose my own spoon I have insisted hard on telling me the pros and cons of each spoon, and then finally taken pride (a sham pride) in choosing my own spoon. So literally and figuratively I have been spoon fed much to the unwillingness of my feeders.
By now I am sure many of you are too convinced that I am absolutely inadequate to be 23, as a 23 year old would never speak like this. And I would not spare myself even a bit by not substantiating the point I started off with.
I have gone to the foolish extent of making chits of the options I have in hand and then taking the decision as the one written on the chit that I have drawn. I have gone to extent of asking God to take decisions for me by trying to find out answers in Ramcharitmanas or the Geeta. I have gone to extent of leaving the decisions to be taken to time. Except for the first one I am sure you would be thinking that sometimes there is no way but to surrender to these methods so what’s wrong in them. But it’s wrong if you ask God for answers without knowing your questions well, ask him to answer from the options you think might be best suited for the distorted question you somehow manage to pose while the answer may be something completely unconsidered by you. And it’s wrong when you ask time to take decisions for you instead of accepting that you have been a failure in deciding on it yourself. Now I think I have convinced you that the methods are wrong when given the circumstances in which they have been assorted to.
Hence I don’t feel I am eligible to share a place amidst people of 23 who have been always proud of taking their own decisions and standing by them even if they turned out to be wrong later on. I don’t feel I have the guts required to do that.
Ahh! Just heard somebody saying, it’s never too late to start. Thank God we have such adages to ease the process of decision making for people like me. Yes I have decided to follow it, totally convinced that if I start now only then I can make myself eligible for the club of 25 two years down the line. So I am going to “take charge at 23”.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
I am desi... or am I really?
Last night while chatting with an old school friend I ran into the risk of a debate with him. It has left me thoughtful and so I thought of sharing it with all.
Just while something was going on I begged to differ with him saying I am a little 'desi' kinds. It was enough to infuriate him. The conversation that took place between us goes as below:
He: Don't be a snob. You and desi? Huh!
Me: Why do you say so? I am desi and am proud to claim myself a desi. What do you percieve when I say I am desi?
He: I think we're gonna have a rough time ahead...b'coz i'll blurt out...desi-there's no harm in being that, but are we really that? Tell me what brand of jeans do u prefer? I'm sure it must be Levi's and not New port!
Me: I am as comfortable in my Lee Cooper as I am in that 100 Rupee kurta I bought from the street side. No dear I think you have got me all wrong all these while. I am very comfortable with those street children I work with in the NGO. I don't sport my expensive gogs or my Tissot watch when I go there.
He: That's ok.. I don't doubt
Me: Please go ahead...
He: But ma'am we prefer Mc' Donalds over some road side tea stall...
Me: No not...again i crave for the bhelpuris on the road side as much as I crave for pizza hut, I am not brand specific frankly... no exxageration.
He: I knew it but just rechecked that that Lee cooper is from
Me: Desi does not mean that I wont wear western clothes... It means not wearing only western clothes.
He: i somehow don't buy that...u may b an exception--then this is uncalled for..
Me: No it's not being exceptional, i find most of the people in my company like that who dont have preset notions about things. I told you earlier also that I come from a very small place and I have not forgotten my roots, I enjoy the chaat papri in a shady chandni chowk shop as much as I enjoy blue- berry mousse in Wengers... It's all about the way one looks at things...
He: People will go for Himesh monkey's show, but when it comes to an Indian rock band, they'll say it's evil western...
Me: That is a justified grudge... I don't endorse that. Thats being against westernisation... and I am not so. I want to flaunt my indianness with pride.
He: See boss, let me be straight, my experience is that most of the people (THAT INCLUDES ME AS WELL) have been so much adapted to the western influences that I hardly find a sense in that word
Me: Indianness is about attitude, it's the outlook.
He: Lemme ask u , what is
Me: I will be honest... Its like working somewhere which pays well and gives enough time to pursue something that gives meaning to your life
He: That brings u a multinational, right? You're a mathematician--why don't plan to join ISRO and contribute to a space mission?
Me: I dont mind multinationals, but there are big Indian companies also these days doing well like the Tatas, Ambanis, Mallyas etc. And when did i say indianness means being against globalisation?
He: I have seen u're a fan of L.N. Mittal? But does Mittal pay even the income tax to the govt of
Me: I know I am...I like the guts of the man it's not because he is a
He: Yeah yeah... He won't have it cheaper anywhere else...
Me: See my dear, there are always two sets of people, one who wants to make profit and one who wants to serve and the society has the resilience to accomodate both the sets.
He: This poor country, our Govt spends approx 10 lakhs to make me an engineer, nd I'm going to serve the american corporate... our greatest desi actor is a farmer, our desi netas are involved in trafficing ??
Me: I just said that there are both sets of people, if you serve for an American company, there are people who serve for DRDO and ISRO as well.
He: Sadly not dear... And I dont mind L.N.Mittal making profits and all, but why do we Indians ( I'm afraid to call me one) always die over him? What has he done for this country?
Me: What has Kalpana Chawla done for the country or Sunita Williams or Salman Rushdie or Swaraj Paul or I can name many done for this country? Virtually nothing you may safely say... But still they have done lots, they have shown the world that Indian people can do wonders if given the right opportunities.
He: I beg to differ...
Me: There is something called Brand India... They have endorsed the idea...
He: Hahaha, I don't believe you trust all this. What's Brand India? We don't stand anywhere in the world except for, may be, the largest market of the western world... they overproduce and we buy... and thank ourselves for the god-sent worn out wrangler that lights up our closets... conveniently forgetting that we've payed the same as any American would have paid in Dollars. Ma'am the wicket is too sticky here...
Me: See I am not one of those kinds who dont see hopes in things and hence stop working towards betterment... I never said India is the best country to live in... But everybody's house is in a mess, we ourselves need to set it right, we need to take charge now. We keep saying the system is rotten and stuff than doing anything ourselves... i was on the auto the other day and the auto relentlessly went on saying about the decline the country was seeing... i kept hearing him for long and then asked a simple question.. how many kids do you have? He made a sorry face... said three... I told him see, what did you do to end the woes of country? You added to the problems the country is facing and cribbing about the sorry state of affiars and blaming the govt... Further asked him if he earns enough to educate his children and he drove the rest of the journey in silence. So my point is that when we ourselves are not doing anything for the betterment of the ocuntry who gives us the authority to criticize it...
He: Yeah why shud he? Or for that matter we instead let us bask in the glory-- the eternal feel good factor...
Me: Ha ha ha... Dont be sarcastic, I dint mean that.... I dont say that you go around carrying the sense that everything is alright... Everthing is not alright I know that well, but it also does not mean that while chatting we only see at the gloomy side of things... I am an eternal optimist...phew!
He: I'm a branded pessimist...
Me: So probably thats the reason we fought so much over it, the half filled glass...
He: Hahaha... It's the emptiness...
Me: No my dear, it's the filled part.
And thats how our conversation ended. Readers are welcome to share their side of the debate.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Art, the new picture
I have been going to an Art school since the age of six years. It used to be every Sunday that my drawing teacher used to come to our house until my younger brother grew old enough so that we could go together to the Art school. We have grown up with only Doordarshan at home, so Sunday evenings used to be really special as there used to be a movie telecast on the channel out of the meager two movies per week. We both used to hate the intersection and so most of the time either he used to have a stomach pain or me, and if one does not go how can the other, that was a deal. But in spite of all the love for the Sunday movie we also used to love drawing, but only our way. As I grew I realized that painting is the most wonderful form of art as it is very powerful. I realized how we can convey so much by just drawing a few meaningful lines. I started realizing its beauty and gradually became more inclined towards attending regular classes. My younger brother still would have his stomach pain, but I would be off with my pastels and water colors to draw my world colorful. I used to find it initially a little painful to see my teacher’s extra concern for the measurements to be correct always. He was very specific that body parts were very carefully drawn and ample care should be taken that the legs, hands and the body were all in the proper ratio unless I was drawing a rickety child or a deformed man! He was also very particular about the eyes drawn well and should convey what I wanted the portrait to convey. Whenever I used to make a mistake in these things, with a sheepish grin I used to plea saying “Modern art, Sir.” He would take my canvas and within minutes make an exotic beautiful lady or an old farmer or a muscular blacksmith full of life and vigor. He would make his final comment “It’s very important in Art to observe carefully, perception is very important.” I stopped going to formal art school at the age of 16. Now I would be 23 soon and I still draw portraits and what I have carried along with me all these years are observant eyes and a clear perspective about things.
Undoubtedly art is about conveying what you feel, but then I wonder if my teacher was just mad to put so much of stress on accuracy as well. Does not a figure with hands, legs and face of a proper dimension convey anything? Or is it that the moment you deform them you can convey more? There seems to be an obsession for nudity in art. It used to be only women who earlier used to face this brunt, but now even Gods and Goddesses are not spared. And why not, don’t all our temples and architectural sites all have nude deities dancing or in different inviting postures. But a little disturbing it gets when nudity is accompanied with obscenity. I have been twice to very famous art exhibitions, once with my father and once with a male-friend and in both the times we decided to see the exhibition separately as walking together down the galleries was really embarrassing. Women body was deformed to the extent of vulgarity on the pretext of conveying a meaning. Yes we all are free individuals with our right to say and paint whatever way we feel like, but then are we not members of a civilized society that should be guided be a little of responsibility also? You may argue that I should not have visited those places when I knew such paintings would be on display, I would say why should not I? I have a lot of respect for this modern art form but I only don’t like when too much of liberty is taken and sentiments get hurt.
Art to me is not to hurt, but only to convey a meaning which you may not agree with but would still like to respect.
Recently I got an email showing all the paintings of M. F. Hussain which roused so much of protest. As an art lover I totally denounce such actions which cringe in the liberty of the artist. But on the flip side of it, the paintings definitely play with the religious sentiments of a few sects. I know it is the age of tolerance and it is stupid that we fight over meaningless issues instead of working towards creating a developed country, but then isn’t religion only about faith and nothing else, so if our faith is tampered with should we not make a little noise? Yes the way is wrong; I have the right to express my disagreement but keeping in mind the norms of a civilized society. So the bottom-line is that the means to be followed should be democratic and not outrageous. As Meera Devidayal, an artist in Mumbai (Frontline, June 1, 2007) puts it, “Art is sometimes created to provoke, to stimulate debate and for people to interpret in different ways. Most artists would not mind people objecting to their work, but it should be done in the right manner. There are peaceful platforms for debate and those could be used.” Period!
Disclaimer: The views are completely personal and do not intend to hurt anybody. Any peaceful debate is welcome.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Women's day
In this post I want to share what I have heard or over-heard during a casual walk on the road, or a chat with friends around Women's day.
"Hi! How have you been? Happy women's day!", one of the guys of my class wishing a girl.
"Yeh dekh na kaisa lag raha hai, ya phir yeh", two girls talking at a roadside ear-rings and sundry seller.
"Bhaiya thoda to kam karo, itni mehanga kyun de rahe ho", an aunty telling the vegetable vendor.
"Yaar yeh maal to dekh, kya cheez hai",a loafer guy on the roadside leching at a decent scared girl waiting at the bus stop.
"Pa, got a job, joining as soon I complete this semester", a friend of mine on phone to her father.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Just like that
One thing that one must not stop doing is writing! If you have a flair for writing and you stop writing either due to lack of time or of lack of matter, you keep feeling restless till a piece is written down. I had not been writing due to both the reasons, have opened up this page several times before, jotted down a few lines and then lost patience to carry on with the thought process. So today thought to defeat my restlessness and impatience by just writing down anything.
I have been regularly watching the new KBC since it's inception, though my parents do say that they used to like Bachchan doing it more than the flambouyant Khan, still they seem to adore him, as everyday quite a chunk of our discussion over the phone is on Khan. So I tend to believe that they enjoy seeing him. Moreover why won't they, he has been at his witty-best, humble-best, and smiley-best when at the show. Innocence seems to be with him all the time. Today the contestant (a strict lady school teacher from Jind, Haryana) refused to hug Khan when she wanted to quit the show, he was caught speechless for a moment, but his sharp presence of mind made him tell the lady "if you don't mind, can I give the cheque to your mother there as I am sure she would definitely want to hug me", and the crowd burst into a huge applause. I am sure most of us are bowled over by the witty and humourous Khan who has definitely added a new dimension to KBC.
And definitely my parents will keep watching it and keep comparing it with the Bachchan show until one day the old KBC gets faded by the funny memories of the new one!