How to teach baby two languages at the same time

As a new parent one thought that made us quite nervous and eager was to imagine how our child would sound when they speak those first words. What would those words be and in which language. I remember a lot of our friends saying how in their experience they have tried teaching their child more than one language but ended up having to satisfy themselves with only English. No matter what they would do, the child just would not respond in any language other than English. I also heard theories of how it can get confusing for kids to pick up multiple languages at the same time. But really is there a bar on the number of languages a child can pick up? I doubt it.

I have myself grown up learning four different languages spoken in India! Hindi and English are languages spoken or understood in most parts of India, Bengali because I was born and brought up in Bengal (so the interactions with a taxi or a shopkeeper would have to be in Bengali) and finally Marwadi which is my mother tongue – we originally hail from a western Indian state called Rajasthan which has Marwadi as its language. Each of these languages I could read, write and speak very fluently. So did I get confused as I was growing up? Was I able to do it because I was an extra-ordinary child? Did my parents do anything so differently that it cannot be copied again? The answer to all these questions is No. However I wanted to make sure I can try it out on our toddler before concluding that the process works. So what is the mantra that can solve this puzzle?

It’s simple – provide the child the right amount of exposure to the languages you want them to pick up. In my case I had exposure to English at school (I educated from a school with English as the first language), my mother used to speak in Marwadi with me and she made my father speak in Hindi with me (in fact it has remained the case till date). I learnt Bengali from speaking to friends in the locality or playing with them. Therefore the guidance is simple. However the implementation is more difficult – especially when you live in western countries where the families are small and there is not much interaction with neighbours.

So the first aspect was for us to pick up the languages that we wanted our toddle to pick up. We chose Hindi and English only. The main reason is because these are the only two languages my husband knows out of the four I knew, so the most common ones we were going to use in our household. Our toddler started going to a day care when she turned one as joined back work after maternity leave. The day care was using English to communicate with her. So all we had to do was to ensure that we always, and I really mean always, speak in Hindi with her. Once she joined the day care and started speaking words, I remember days when she would be tempted to respond in English – as she was hearing that throughout the day and it was easier for her to explain in the same language as she has experienced it during the day. However I would not react to what she would tell me. I would instead add the following in Hindi – “Sorry I can’t understand what you are saying as I only understand Hindi”. She would realise what I said (although sometimes she would try again in English but without luck) and translate it in Hindi for me. There were few such instances before she realised that inside the house it is Hindi and outside the house it is English.

Now I have a toddler who can communicate in both the languages and I don’t see her confused at all. In fact she surprises us with the amount of words she knows in each language and translating it for us when she is looking through flash cards for animals, fruits and vegetables.

All in all, I believe that the fact that more languages can confuse children is a myth. In fact it is the exact opposite – it would actually make them more confident knowing that they can communicate to a wider audience!

The Taj Mahal - An Ode to Magnificence

If one word can describe the Taj Mahal, that would be Magnificent.

Like every eager traveller visiting Taj, one of the seven wonders of the world, was a prized opportunity, something that I was looking forward to very excitedly. Although unlike other fellow travellers who would probably wake up early in the morning to catch a glimpse of the Taj in the early morning orange sunlight, I chose to visit the Taj like an ordinary tourist on an ordinary day (30/12/15) at an ordinary time (1pm).

The visit to the Taj was part of a 5 day tour of the neighbouring areas devoured with Krishna bhakti - Vrindaban, Mathura, Gokul, Nand Gaon, Barsana and Govardhan. We stayed at Shree Radhe Vasundhara Resort in Govardhan. It's a collection of luxury cottages all beautifully designed located at the foothills of Govardhan parvat - slightly outside though from the main towns of Vrindaban and Mathura. The stay was amazing and few places like Nidhi van in Vrindaban and Tatiya Sthan in Mathura were dipping in Radhe Krishna bhakti.

Amidst this backdrop, the visit to Taj felt like a pilgrimage to a temple which epitomises love and separation in the modern world - a story that resonates closely with the life with Krishna and Radha.

From the car park to the Taj entrance, the journey was made on the back of a camel - already an excitement for my 19 month old who had only seen camels in books thus far. Right at the car park, we hired a photographer and a tour guide - both to stay with us for the entire part of the journey clicking memorable pictures and imparting valuable knowledge about its history.

As I queued to enter the Royal Gate, it was that feeling of impatience which made it impossible to wait anymore to see how the first glimpse of Taj would feel. I started conjuring up permutations and combinations of all possible feelings concluding the analysis with two outcomes - it will either be a total wow coupled with a sudden gush of immense love for my life partner or a complete disaster concluding it as being overrated by the worldly people.

The moment came when I was standing facing the Taj - my mind just went blank. All that I had conjured up had disappeared and the only word that seemed to have remained in my vocabulary was Magnificient. I stood there spell bound - in the slight misty afternoon, the white Taj stood brilliantly unfazed by the 80 thousand people that visited it that day.

Although we did enter the Taj like any ordinary tourist, we did not exit it alike. Inside the Taj whilst we were admiring it's beauty from the sides (yet to have entered the actual tomb), we met a few people responsible for Taj's security. Their work mainly starts when all tourists are gone and the premises have been vacated. Therefore they had some time to get into a chat with us.
 
Chats with these security personnel ranged a wide variety of topics - politics, corruption, history, religion etc. We all just simply enjoyed the conversations and kept it going - whilst obviously our tour guide kept nudging us to go. The memories of these conversations will stay with us for a long time to come.

The visit to the insides of the Tomb actually makes you appreciate the magnificence of the Taj. The stones embellished are real gem stones. The marble used is a special Sungmarmar - white transparent marble which is quite expensive and rarely available these days. On throwing light at them, the light passes through these stones and lit them up. To see a building as huge as Taj built using a stone as expensive as that leaves you agasht at the amount of wealth India had at some point. The Mughal invasions and later on the British rule left India weak and poor.

Taj reminds you of the grand Indian history. It is a celebration of the magnificient country India was - the golden bird as one poet rightly called it.

Journey of being a working mother

We recently went on a trip to Blackpool. This has to be one of the most memorable trips I have had so far. The first proper trip on our own with our new born who is soon going to be all of 15 months. Really time has flown so quickly that I have lost track of what all it entailed. The last clear memories are of the last day at work with the cake, the speeches and the card with lots of scribbles wishing good luck. And the uneasy feeling of what is there to come. After I said good bye to work to embark on a new journey of motherhood - life has been on a roller coaster ride, memories of which are now gradually fading already. Just within a week of bidding adieu to work, I delivered a little princess.

As seamless and joyful were the 9 months of pregnancy, my delivery was equally straightforward. Obviously at that time it did feel like the most arduous experience, one I vouched I will never tread on again. But with the passage of time and having heard of other more painful stories, my discomfort seemed minimalistic. My life was getting filled up with the joyous feeling of being a mother. The first three months are the toughest in terms of raising a child. From being someone who learnt everything from how to hold a baby to changing nappies in an antenatal class, I was gradually becoming a mother - one who knows how to breast feed, is able to understand and differentiate between the various baby cries, make baby burp and wee and poo, sooth her to sleep etc. It is hard work, but unlike corporate hard work where rewards are quantified at the end of the year, nature of reward here is quite different - instantaneous gratification felt at an emotional level.

The 6 months following the most difficult first 3 months were very easy - I went back to India to my parents with my new born and had the comforts and support of family back home. These 6 months flew as if in 6 hours - one of the best periods of my life. My mother was taking care of my daughter and I was taking care of the rest - which included getting 2 hours of body massage every day, getting involved and sorting out any teething issues in my father's business, renovating the house to prepare for my brother's wedding and finally actually attending the Indian wedding. It had everything I could have wished for. Before coming back to London, we decided to go for a short trip to the south of India, covering Chennai, Vellore and Pondicherry. Although exciting in its own way, it was a good lesson on how to take care of a baby on our own. This was the first time we were on our own with our 9 month old daughter and don't think we did a very good job. She fell sick, she became very weak as we did not feed her enough and was taking strong antibiotics. So much so that when my mother saw my daughter only for a night before leaving India to come to London, she got too worried about how frail she had become. In a night, whatever she could, she did to bring my daughter back to normal - this included giving her something to eat every hour or so. We just had not done a good job with regards to her food.

Coming back to London with a 9 month old with the experience and lesson learnt from the Chennai trip meant that we were better prepared and did not take anything for granted. After some initial hiccups I managed to find an amazing child minder who helped us out with taking her regular care. We started very gradually, a couple of hours initially going up to a full day in her 11th month. Once settled in with her, I started exploring joining back to work. I did not want any sudden changes in lifestyle - either for my daughter or for myself. Therefore getting back to work was also in a phased manner including moving my daughter away from breastfeeding to bottle feeding. I wanted to make sure that she was more independent and that I could trust somebody to take care of her when I am at work.

Life since then has been quite routined. She goes to the childminder Mondays to Thursdays and I take Fridays off (a clever tactic I used to not use up all my maternity leaves in one go, but spread them over throughout the year by taking a day off in the week and spending with the little one). Going back to work has been a brilliant feeling after a long hiatus. New and increased challenges have kept me busy so far. I have a busy day at work and busy evenings at home with the little one. I do sometimes miss not having the me-time, but then when I see the smile on her face for no reason or an un-demanded hug from her, all such wants disappear and I feel like spending each and every moment of my conscious self with her.

A decimated legacy

A synonym for decimation these days would be the Congress party in India. Whether it be the national parliamentary elections or the State level assembly elections, Congress is shrinking quicker than comprehensible. Dynasty stuck sycophants do not even realise that their Gandhi obsession is only going to take the party further downhill. Indian voters now demand quality in their leaders, they are looking for fellows who can mobilise masses, lead them, talk to them and act on their requirements. I have always liked Rahul Gandhi - more because of his looks than his political skills though. However these days I look at him and "women emancipation" (from the interview on Times Now with Arnab Goswami) comes to my mind. I don't think Congress will go anywhere if they continue with their obsession with him. Give him a break, let him contemplate, learn the skills needed in this trade and come into it with sharpened weaponry.

For now, the only person who manages to keep the Congress hopes alive in my mind is Shashi Tharoor. I like his demeanour, his oratory skills. Keeping aside the issues surrounding his personal life, Shashi Tharoor has the credibility to become an important personality in Congress. To my mind he is the last hope for the survival of this sinking ship. However, Congressmen look in no mood to shop around - their street starts and ends at the Gandhi house. I will just wait and watch to see how the party revives itself!

India is going to change forever

What a historic moment it has been today! After my last blog post on 30th Dec 2013 when I was feeling at an all time high with the success of a new political party promising on anti-corruption, I had gradually thereafter started feeling disillusioned witnessing the events that followed. As somebody who watches Indian politics closely because I care about the direction India is heading towards, AAP's confused strategies and mindlessness on how only after 49 days of governing Delhi they decided to call it off, I did not know what to hang on to. Thankfully this feeling did not last too long as very soon after this Narendra Modi's rigorous campaign as the BJP's prime-ministerial candidate started. He promised Indian youths like me what we had been waiting to hear - a promise of a strong and stable government in India which will bring change on all fronts. The 10 years of Congress led UPA rule had left India at a disadvantaged position. Whilst in 2004 when they took power there was a real chance of India and China moving head to head with enormous double digit growth rates, in 2014, we heard the Indian finance minister talking about gaining a double digit growth rate somewhere in 2037. That's how far behind we had suddenly fallen in 10 years of the rule, engulfed with corruption charges.

With the tasteless AAP experience although I have become sceptical on how much the Modi led BJP government will deliver, but I am certainly not prepared to give up hope yet. I believe this is a good turning point for Indian democracy - something that the 1.3 billion Indians badly deserved all these years but were denied. The huge victory of BJP turning out to be the largest party claiming majority of parliamentary seats needed to form the government on its own speaks volumes about the campaign that Modi led. He based it on real issues facing the people - governance, anti-corruption, controlling inflation being his main agenda. His resume showing 12 years of rule over Gujarat as a successful Chief Minister added credibility to his claims which voters provided their support to. Motto of "minimum government, maximum governance" that Modi preached was welcomed by one and all and specially the business community.

These past few months have been very eventful and whilst I had quite a lot of opportunity to focus on some personal life changing events, these elections managed to take all my attention instead. I am glad all my attention did not go waste as the outcome today made it all worth it!

Ab Aayega Parivartan - AAP

The new craze in the market is that of AAP. I am sure if not anything else the sale of jhadoos (broomsticks) must have shot up significantly resulting in cleaner (at least literally if not figuratively yet) neighborhoods. I am very optimistic about the possibility AAP brings to the Indian political equation. Their stupendous victory in Delhi assembly elections is an evidence of a changing India, resulting out of mass uprising on increased awareness against corruption and black money.

The 2014 national elections will definitely be fought against this backdrop and probably for the first time in election history more points will be earned on how honestly the elections are fought rather than the free bounties or boozes which had started deciding election outcomes.

AAP for me represents the beginning of a change or parivartan and have just spiced up the dynamics of Indian politics...

The Great Indian Democracy

The beauty with which Indian democracy just reinvented itself is going to go down the history pages as transformational. For long Indians were so convinced that they had in them the 'chalta-hai' (let's-just--move-on) attitude so deeply embedded, that it was unbelievable to anybody that somebody could come up and challenge this in just a span of 12 months. Instead of choosing to sit on the fence and criticize the 'system' for any failings (which we did so often that it had become our second nature), one man with the help of a strong group of like minded people decided to get hands dirty instead. The 'aam aadmi party' (AAP) truly stands for being a party of the people, by the people and for the people. In only 12 months of its existence, it used all the unconventional ways of connecting with people (unconventional as they had been long forgotten by the established parties) and made a huge impact. They communicated their election agenda clearly, went into the homes of people and connected, raised donation for election through transparent means, brought honest candidates with clear records to contest etc. The beauty of Indian democracy is that the people of Delhi (the national capital from where this party fought elections) showed overwhelming support - so much so that they completely uprooted the incumbent government (Congress) and have given a touch fight to the single majority party emerging from the state (BJP).

Now the problem is that the ideological differences between AAP, Congress and BJP are so great that no coalition can be formed. Working as a minority government is neither BJP's nor AAP's preference and they want to sit on the opposition instead. It looks like there will be presidential rule and a reelection, but I ask if the situation is going to be any different then? I suspect we will still be in a deadlock situation post reelections purely because these three parties will again get seats which will not easily form a pure majority and bring forward a similar question.

I think some sense should now prevail and taxpayers money should not be wasted on a reelection. BJP with its stunning victory in the other three state elections of Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh and Chattishgarh have proven that it has people's mandate and should therefore proceed with government formation in Delhi. By 18th Dec the way forward will become clearer, but for now I just can't stop but feel proud on the whole turn of events. Having a multiple party structure democracy makes Indian democracy very versatile, vibrant, dynamic and unpredictable thereby making it very strong.

Waiting for a Change to Happen

Today (Saturday) has been a sluggish day... I redesigned a website I had been wanting to since some time... helped my brother with a business Modus Operandi write up (actually intention was to help, but ended up doing the whole thing myself), spent some time contemplating about life... and now waiting for the next change to happen in life.

I have never accepted monotonicity in life. Either by changing jobs or by changing houses I have kept my life dynamic and constantly challenged my comfort zone. Of late when both these things are seemingly becoming quite stable, last month I went and got myself a dynamic hair cut. This was at my usual hair salon and the hair dresser knowing my usual hair cut, just would not cut them the way I wanted this time. My demand was an extremely short bob cut with even shorter flakes in the front. I had in the recent past started keeping slightly below shoulder length hair, and for her this was such a drastic move. I was insistent and she had to bow down. I loved my new hair style, although the shorter flakes in the front are still having to be pinned up. It is quite irritating to have hair come onto eyes (a move I am slightly regretting, but obviously they will grow back soon). Anyways, my hair did draw all the attention at home and work and brought some freshness to my life.

The 2014 assembly elections in India have been catching my attention. Some time my heart beats so strongly in anticipation of what India is going through. The election temper is quite high and the incessant Modi attacks are not doing anybody any favours. I have always been in the favour of knowing who the prime-ministerial candidates are before the elections, and I congratulate BJP for having the courage to declare one. There is a learning phase for everyone, and clearly Modi too has some to do (specially some history lessons would be good). Change is always a good thing, I hope India has the willingness to accept it.

The episodes of Asharam Bapu and his son and the media overhaul on the more recent Tejpal story only make one thing clear to me - beware those who still continue to think of women as objects. India is no more tolerant to any abuses to women, however small. It is a country where women were considered as powerful Goddesses and the Indian media is playing a strong part in bringing back that glory. However, as women we also need to be play our part and not misuse this new power we have been bestowed upon by the democracy of India. I just hope all this turmoil changes the society for the better.

I am waiting for the next change to happen - in my life, in Indian politics and in Indian society.

Indian Youth

I just came back from a birthday party of a friend's son. The little son has turned one today and his proud parents had thrown a party to celebrate that. Obviously as you can see such things don't particularly excite me. What was exciting was to meet a big gathering of Indians in the party and find out what was up in their lives. Most of it was about raising kids in London and long work hours causing hindrance in achieving work life balance. However it all sounded under control and more towards being the usual moaning Indian mentality... I have only seldom come across truly optimistic Indian crowd and today's was no different.

Well this blog post is not about this. What stood out for me was the conversation I had with my friend's brother, who has, a couple of days back, come from India. He used to live in Gurgaon (satellite town of Delhi) with his wife, owned a house (on mortgage) and both husband wife were working. On the outset, it would sound like a perfect set up. Young couple, so still have some time to plan for kids. For me they would classify as an average middle class nuclear family trying to live in big metro cities and making a living on their own. I saw no apparent problems with that and immediately associated him with the new India. However, as we started talking more, he revealed that he has just sold his house, his wife has stayed back in Gurgaon and is living in a paying guest with a female friend and he himself has moved to Ireland to complete a Masters course. A perfectly settled life now suddenly started sounding too unsettled. This major step was not taken in any hurry. The couple had long thought about it and they both felt this to be the right move. Going out of the country, no matter where just seemed the right thing to do. He is frustrated that even with two salaries and yet no dependents, they are not saving enough. The tax structure is flat and the infrastructure is not at all good to justify the high taxes they pay. So here I had, a bright hard - working honest couple who would regularly pay their taxes eager to leave the country asap and throw their lives into uncertainty.

The plan is that the husband will study in Ireland, the wife will join in due course and start looking for a job there and eventually they will settle there bidding adieu to India forever. Obviously I am nobody to comment on whether this is right or wrong being myself a person who left the country for a year but has stayed out for longer than five years now. But I at least do definitely want to go back. I have not, in my heart and soul, yet been able to bid adieu to India. I want to go back at the next available opportunity, just don't know when that would be. This story of a first hand experience of an Indian youth troubled me. I could see India as a push factor - where people like him are being pushed out of the country, where is the pull factor - so that people like me can return to the country?

Clearly the current government has failed. Ten years is a long time to shape a country and India has completely lost shape in this time. Shall we not be definitely looking for a change??? I don't know who is the best alternative, all I definitely know is that the track record shows that no further chances be allowed to the incumbent. Else we will be caught in his infinite loop of pessimism, anxiety and social unrest which will be very difficult to come out of.

An ordinary story like this has caused a lot of pain in my heart. India is under global watch and the next elections are crucial for the country. I wish I was in India to contribute to the turning point of the country, but can I request all my friends and well wishers to go out and vote in the next general elections and contribute towards the change. I believe in change and I desperately want to see a change. India has all the ingredients to become the next big thing, therefore let's just create the right dynamics to achieve that goal!

Hay Fever and Yoga

Warm Sunday afternoons would normally be the weather one craves for England, however this year's summer has been different for me so far. Some of my friends are telling me that this is a sign of having become purely "british" now as I have managed to catch what is called "hay fever". It has been more than 5 years that I have been living here, but this is the first of its kind experience for me. Constantly running nose, itchy eyes, mild forehead ache, coughing and sneezing - all this comes with being allergic to pollens. During summers when the rest of the country craves for hot weather, people suffering from hay fever crave for cold and wet weather as that reduces the pollen count in the air. Therefore, today (warm Sunday afternoon) whilst the rest of the Britian is out under the sun in the parks playing or getting sun-tanned, I am sitting in the house with windows as closed as possible (don't forget that we would normally not have fans or coolers in England) and typing this blog post. Sigh!!

Most of my work colleagues have either themselves or their spouses suffering from this annoying condition (it is not a disease and therefore not communicable). Last week, a colleague sitting beside me had to rush her husband to the hospital A&E due to him being coughing incessantly. It was then diagonsed as chest infection (caused by stored cough from hay fever which he did not manage to clean out of his body). My routine at home has been that of either cleaning or blowing my nose or sneezing. Poor nose - I have been making it suffer so much! But this way at least I am making sure that all the cough is coming out instead of getting stored inside and jamming other organs.

There are some Indian yogic remedies that can help sooth and to some extent also cure this allergy. Some of them are listed below for those who are able to do them (I should myself follow them instead of preaching, just that they need the discipline which I am currently lacking) -

Pranayam - Pranayam are some breathing yogas which strengthen lungs. They therefore help in reducing coughing and sneezing and keeping your nose clean and clear. I have learnt some of them from the Indian saint Baba Ramdev's shows on TV channel Aastha. A simple Google search will land you to those videos teaching how to do them.

Kunjal Kriya - My husband has been insisting that I perform Kunjal Kriya. In this you are supposed to drink like 2 - 2.5 litres of warm salted water in one go and then forcing yourself to vomit to bring it all out. He says that this vomit of water then brings out all impurities from the stomach and also will help me clean up my cough completely. I agree with him - I have tried it twice and it has helped me a lot. It does need a lot of strength though and I have to relax for some time after I have done this. It is not recommended to be done on a daily basis.

Jal Neti - My brother has been insisting that I perform Jal Neti. This is the yoga in which you take in water from one nostril and take it out from the other nostril. You need a tool to do which my husband can use perfectly to perform the act, however I have miserably failed to get the water out of the other nostril. It needs a lot of practice, and my attempts so far have failed. This will further help to ensure that the passage in my nose is clean and therefore any allergens would not be able to titillate my senses to cause sneezing.

Being a person who prefers natural remedies over allopathic medicines, I intend to religiously start trying the above three yogic remedies. They do not have any side effects (though I urge anybody reading this and attempting to first make sure that they have understood the process from a professional) and can cure multiple ailments.Yoga is a powerful tool which we hardly use to cure ourselves of all ailments. And not just curing physical ailments, but the discipline, patience, calmness and energy that it instills also helps in keeping our mind sound and serene.

Modi - The New Hope for India

I am generally a very optimistic person. At work, I am known as a person who brings positive energy into the team. And because of who I am, I like similar people around me.

Today I heard Narendra Modi speak - the chief minister of an Indian state called Gujarat. He was addressing a young and bright crowd of under grads at one of Delhi university's colleges. What I liked about him and his speech was the optimism he brought. Very logically he argued why his optimism for the future of India can become a reality. 

To put his message across he picked up the glass of water he was drinking from and said - the optimists in you would say that the glass is half full and the pessimists would say that the glass is half empty. However, I would go one step ahead and say that the glass is completely full - half with water and half with air. Therefore I am very hopeful about India's future, all we need to do is to change perspective.

And I say indeed, change perspective about the way we look at our lives and at others. I went out with a few friends for dinner yesterday to a not-so-cheap Indian restaurant. It was hurting me to see a couple in the group had left over so much of food on their plates. It is a lot of hard work to earn money and we should be thankful that we are getting to eat good food. It is easy to blame the government for everything on a dinner table eating good food - but really what are we doing that we can atleast do in our capacity?? Nothing I would say. At least stop wasting food. If the sum total of all cosmic energy remains the same in the world at all times, then the food we just wasted in some form would have been more useful for somebody else.

Let's do the little things that we can to make this world a better place please. And let's provide our full support to those who are hopeful about this. This speech gives me a lot of confidence that he could just be the thinking that India needs at the moment.