What do we want from life?

I have always dwelled upon this question - what do I want from my life. Actually the picture of the vending machine below will set the scene well of what I am trying to focus on this blog. 

On the head of the machine read "Forgotten Something?" and below that you find pretty much everything you can think of needing while travelling with a price tag. This made me think - can we make such a list of things that we need from our lives? Additionally, we also need to think of at what cost will we achieve it. Because if I simply ask you this question, then I am sure you can jot down a hundred things you desire in your life, but asking to add the price tag to those desires immediately helps you do the reality check.

Sometimes I think we get too carried away by desires - some of those feelings can stem from a genuine concern of securing our future, some may be pure indulgence and some may just be stupid wants with no basis whatsoever. We need to know where the check point is and what defines the fine line between wanting and desiring. Even though dictionary may write them as synonyms, for me "wanting" is more definitive than "desiring". So I may "desire" a lot of things for which the price tag may be beyond my affordability, but I will "want" only those that have a reasonable price tag and are achievable for me. For example, I may "desire" a helipad on the terrace of my house, but I first "want" to own a house.  

Therefore, I want you to create a list of "wants" and not "desires". Have a price tag to your wants - given you have only filtered out those that come with reasonable price tag, this list of your "wants" will end up being reasonable as a result. You may or may not decide to put a time tag against them. The kind of person I am, I like defining timelines to achieve things, else they never happen for me. A relaxed attitude never takes you anywhere, your "want" has to be desperate enough to allow you to achieve it. And a time tag will ensure that desperation all the time. Our mind should be relaxed, but our approach should be desperate. Again there is a very fine difference between these two things, so you need to be careful.

I think this method will help us keep a check on our wants and desires. I am all up for dreaming big, but if you have to become big then you have to have an approach.

A trip to Windsor

I had some holidays carried forward from last year - these are those holidays for which your company tells you to "take it or loose it". February being one of the chilliest months in Europe, we decided not to go too far and end up spending a lot of money. The choice was quite limited to seeing some place within UK which does not hurt the wallet a lot as this was during the Valentine's day weekend (16th Feb to 18th Feb 2013). The best thing about being in UK is that if you know how to use the internet, you can really save a lot of money - use key words like discount vouchers, evouchers, coupons, discount codes etc on Google and you are bound to get a deal that you cannot resist. I had a lucky day and managed to find 2 night weekend stay in a 4 star hotel close to Windsor at a throw away price of £55 per night from Travelzoo. The room was a superior plus room with complimentary wi-fi, leisure facilities like steam, sauna, whirlpool, swimming pool, car parking and full English breakfast for two included.

We took a fast train just after noon from London Paddington to Slough (£8.60 per person) and reached Slough in 17mins. From Slough station we walked down to the hotel - a nice short 30 mins walk with Google maps assisting us with the directions. 

Given the idea of this trip was only to relax, we checked into the hotel and threw ourselves on the bed. The hotel room was very comfortable with all modern day amentities one could hope for. Even before we had stretched ourselves, it was evening. We went for an exercise session in the gym followed by long swimming, steam, sauna and zacuzzi sessions. After a hectic week of work in London, going out to the country and relaxing in a spa is the best thing to do, it completely unwinds you down. 

For dinner, there was a restaurant inside the hotel which we decided to try. Being vegetarian does not give us too many options anywhere, so we ordered the most predictable options Fried Noodles with Mixed Vegetables and Fried Rice with Mixed Vegetables along with Steamed Tofu for main course. We went a little innovative with out dessert of Banana Fritters and Chocolate Spring Roll with Raspberry Sauce.

The noodles were the best noodles I have ever had - I tried to get the recipe from the Chinese waitress who was having difficulty in speaking English. All I could get out of her was that these were Singaporean noodles and were therefore thin. Rice noodles are thin too, but I don't like them as much as I did these. The dessert was a bit of a let down, but after this outstanding main course, I could not complain too much. 

The next morning, we got up early to visit Windsor castle. Being somebody who is not too much into historical buildings, we decided only to click a photograph from outside and move on. 

Don't forget that Windsor castle is the official residence of the queen. An extract from the royal website provides more context - 

Windsor Castle is an official residence of The Queen and the largest occupied castle in the world. A Royal home and fortress for over 900 years, the Castle remains a working palace today.

The Queen uses the Castle both as a private home, where she usually spends the weekend, and as a Royal residence at which she undertakes certain formal duties.
Every year The Queen takes up official residence in Windsor Castle for a month over Easter (March-April), known as Easter Court. During that time The Queen hosts occasional 'dine and sleeps' events for guests, including politicians and public figures.
The Queen is also in residence for a week in June, when she attends the service of the Order of the Garter and the Royal Ascot race meeting. 

This was February and the queen will not be in the castle anyways (not that you will get to see her if she was). But anyways, what interested us more is a "long walk" between the Windsor castle to the Windsor Great Park. It is 2.65 miles (4.26 km) from George IV Gateway at Windsor Castle to The Copper Horse. We decided to do the walk by foot and see the Copper Horse for ourselves. The picture below taken from the internet was taken in 1930s. 

Whilst it may not look a lot to walk just over 4 kilometers, the vast expanse around and the long road with no sight of an end in front of you can make the journey longer in your mind than it actually is.

The weather was brilliant so we did not mind the walk at all. The icing on the cake was when I spotted a sole car coming towards me (which would be towards the castle as we were walking towards the Great Park). Wondering who would dare to bring a car on a walk that looked very private with one royal guard I spotted at a doors on the side, I realised it was no one else but the queen herself on the driving seat and her husband accompanying her. She must be on a private visit to the castle to spend the weekend. Something that hit me was the unassuming character of this experience. The royal highness, Her Majesty the Queen out on a private weekend driving her car down on her own with no show. If I become a famous social celebrity in my life ever, I would really love such a lifestyle - where you are allowed to completely switch yourself off and have those moments of a normal life. Honestly I just really loved seeing that!

Okay back to our "long walk" from the philosophical discussion, we were back with freshness after the little distraction. It took us around 50 - 60 minutes to complete the walk, but the prize was worth it, we indeed had come a long way. 

 

I dozed off for a while below the copper horse. Then we had our packed lunch on the grass under the beautiful sun. All I could now see around me was a vast expanse of greenery. I could not see any park gates and realised that to reach to one I may be on a journey of not knowing how much to walk. In comparison I at least knew how long I will have to walk on the long walk to reach some habitation. So I chose the easier option and went back to the city centre via the long walk. The return journey felt shorter than the onward journey somehow (may be because I now know how long it really was whilst on the onward journey it just looked like a never ending walk).

We came back to the hotel by sunset. Had our usual routine of the leisure facilities and had almost the same dinner as last night. The next day was all about packing, checking out and the making the journey back to hectic lifestyle of London. 

Such outings give you time to look at the bigger picture of your life from a distance like a painter does once in a while during his painting. It is very important to do such contemplations, trust me. If you have not taken such breaks, do so now without fail.

Modi - The New Hope for India

I am generally a very optimistic person. At work, I am known as a person who brings positive energy into the team. And because of who I am, I like similar people around me.

Today I heard Narendra Modi speak - the chief minister of an Indian state called Gujarat. He was addressing a young and bright crowd of under grads at one of Delhi university's colleges. What I liked about him and his speech was the optimism he brought. Very logically he argued why his optimism for the future of India can become a reality. 

To put his message across he picked up the glass of water he was drinking from and said - the optimists in you would say that the glass is half full and the pessimists would say that the glass is half empty. However, I would go one step ahead and say that the glass is completely full - half with water and half with air. Therefore I am very hopeful about India's future, all we need to do is to change perspective.

And I say indeed, change perspective about the way we look at our lives and at others. I went out with a few friends for dinner yesterday to a not-so-cheap Indian restaurant. It was hurting me to see a couple in the group had left over so much of food on their plates. It is a lot of hard work to earn money and we should be thankful that we are getting to eat good food. It is easy to blame the government for everything on a dinner table eating good food - but really what are we doing that we can atleast do in our capacity?? Nothing I would say. At least stop wasting food. If the sum total of all cosmic energy remains the same in the world at all times, then the food we just wasted in some form would have been more useful for somebody else.

Let's do the little things that we can to make this world a better place please. And let's provide our full support to those who are hopeful about this. This speech gives me a lot of confidence that he could just be the thinking that India needs at the moment.

All by myself

Can we do everything by ourselves? As managers, we trust the team who works for us for the accuracy, reliability, relevance and consistency of the work they do. And as a manager comes the accountability of accepting the work that they have done – good or bad.

I am a precision freak, I like work being done with close attention to details. Generally I check the work I do so many times that there is very little scope of error. However, with the limited time you get in the corporate world for delivery of projects, it is more often that you split the work to your team members so that the timelines are achieved. As such then, there is not much time to check the work others do for you to the same level of details. And I said earlier, you trust that they will do a good job.

It has just happened with me that I spotted a mistake on an old project I was responsible for. I realised that it was somebody else who worked for me on this project who committed this mistake. I talked to this person to understand why the issue happened. There was no blaming, could have happened with anybody else. However, I feel bad because the piece of work that I had given to this person was a piece where I would have trusted the judgement of this person more than mine on any day. Therefore, the shock is even greater.

Anyways, what is done is done. As somebody who is responsible for this delivery of that project, I take full responsibility of this oversight. I quickly checked to see the impact this would have on the overall project, and it seems quick minimal. Sigh of relief! However, what this teaches me is that I need to be more careful from now on when I use pieces of work done by others for me. But then what is the purpose of having people work for you if you have to check everything all over again? Or you just keep moving on thinking that such situations will occur and as long as the impact is minimal, it does not matter.

Bottom line is you cannot do / check everything yourself. If the CEO of the company does not trust anybody who works for him and decides to do everything himself, would he be able to run a company? In an interview, when Richard Branson was asked how much time he spends on philanthropic activities, he said 90% and added that his company does not need more time than this from him, there are strong people to take care of it.

However, who constitute strong people is really difficult to define. The person who did this work for me was somebody whom I trusted more than I would myself for such work. May be this was just a one-off mistake and I should not take it so seriously. Or maybe there are more such mistakes that will unravel with time. Who knows! But what I know is that we can’t stop trusting each other and we can’t do everything ourselves. There is always going to be team work in this world and human beings will always err. It is down to the individual to decide their error appetite and survive in this world.

Indian Premier League

Thanks to itv4 that I have been closely following IPL T20 matches this year on my home Television. Being originally from West Bengal, KKR will be the home team I should be supporting. However, with Saurabh Ganguly being removed from Kolkata Knight Riders team, Pune Warriors are also receiving some of my wishes. However, clearly it does not seem like that it is helping Ganguly even the slightest as whichever team he is joining (first KKR and now PW), they have not really performed very well in IPL.

I must say that this year's IPL has been the most amazing I have seen so far. Indian cricketers from smaller parts of the country have come to the fore front exceptionally well. I have seen some of the most incredible catches in cricketing history being taken in this IPL. Some of the biggest sixes that have been hit in cricketing history! This IPL for me has raised the bar of cricketing performance to another level altogether. The format of the game is quick which means that you are spending just the right amount of time in front of the TV.

The first time when I became fan of this 20 - 20 format of the game was when I watched a couple of matches in London during the 2020 World Cup in June 2009. Watching a T20 match live is a real joy and have been documented in my previous blogposts. I have been having discussions with some ardent fans of cricket who still believe that the Test format is the best format to test actual cricketting talent. However much I would like to convince myself of this, since following T20 matches closely these days, I do not think that I have ever seen such a high quality cricket previously ever. In this world where speed is the new fashion, most of us have lost the patience to appreciate the slow moving pace of Test cricket! Do you agree?

Anyways, KKR just won against PW on my television. This brings an end to my confusion of whom to support in a match between KKR and PW as Pune Warriors are out of this IPL now - the Dada effect :-)

Another year

Every year around this time I write a blog. However much I have been away from blogging recently, I did not want to break this tradition. The previous blogs around my birthdays have been mixed with happiness for things I achieved in that last year, some dissatisfaction with slow progresses on some other things, apprehensions for what lies ahead and the urgency to do something magical in life. This birthday is slightly different. Even though I feel a sense of dissatisfaction, there is a sense of contentment that things will happen on their own time. Even though there are apprehensions, I get some confidence thinking they may be unnecessary. Even though there is urgency to do something magical, there is also the knowledge when things happen on their own time, they happen in the best possible way.

The last one year has been a very significant year as I changed relationship status from single to married, changed jobs and changed apartments. It is this dynamics of life that keeps me going every year, year on year. All that I want to be stable is the constant desire of doing something for the people of my country, something that can help them change their lives for the better.

I have written about it earlier, but would like to mention it again. Friends of Salaam Baalak Trust is the UK chapter of the established charity Salaam Baalak Trust which has been tirelessly working towards the rehabilitation of street children in Delhi since many years. I still can’t forget the experience I gained during the Indian summer of 2007 when I was teaching the students from 2 extreme spectrums of the society – the elite and talented undergraduates at India’s best St. Stephen’s college on one hand, and the extremely bright, but with latent talent school final kids of Salaam Baalak Trust at a not-very-posh shelter home in Paharganj. While I realised it was very easy to teach students who are talented and they know they are smart and inquisitive and there are all comforts available to teach and learn, it was a challenging experience to teach students who doubted each sentence they learnt - whether they would be able to remember it, whether it will help them earn for food, whether it will help them go mainstream ever. I have seen the brilliance in them, and they need us to help them bring that out to the world. Please donate as much as you can or forward it to people who would like to donate or just help in whatever way you would like (may be organising fund raising events in UK, US or India).

http://www.friendsofsbt.org/how-can-you-help

Coming back to my birthday, I want something magical to happen so that all of these children get all that they want. Something magical happens so that all the terrorists in the world stop killing as the last thing I wanted to hear was about another bomb blasts in Mumbai. Something magical so that all the health problems vanish and we feel hale and hearty always. Something magical so that we have love, appreciation, respect for each other in the world so that living becomes more fun and celebrating birthday truly becomes a celebration of life.