Life Moves On for Zara

I know Zara since childhood. She has been a coy girl blushing out at every small remark about anything related to her. She is a nice person who is completely in love with human kind in general, and she can never harm anybody. The motto of her life has been to bring smiles to as many faces as possible. She loves the small little things in life, she loves playing around with her younger brother, and she enjoys playing the doll game with me. We have grown up together, so I know her each emotion, her each unspoken gesture so well by now. If she ever falls in love with a guy, I am sure she does not need to tell me that, I will be able to read her.

And thats what I have recently come to know. Looking at her facial expressions when I spotted her with a guy last evening, I was certain that she was madly in love with him. He seemed to be one of those decent guys, those take-home-to-mumma kind of guy. So I felt quite happy for her. But then all that seems to be glittering is not gold. There are complications in human emotions. She is totally in love with the guy, but doesn't seeem to be too comfortable telling him how she feels about him.There is something that stops her from being that intimate and comfortable with him. She told me all these after a lot of pestering yesterday late in the night when she was in my house for the usual after-dinner talks that we share! She tried to conceal it as much as she could but then I finally had my way. There is something we share between us that compels us not to lie to each other. We know each other's secrets. Secrets we would never dare telling the world (including our parents) but to only each other. 

She told me everything about her feeling for this guy. Obviously I knew about her meeting him in college a couple of years back and of the general conversations she had with him. But I did not anticipate for it to have gone this far. All those chit-chats always just gave me a feeling that they are classmates and that he is a decent boy who just loves talking. Lot of girls in the class seemed to have a liking for him. He was academically very bright and enjoyed spending time talking to girls during breaks between classes. I was shocked to see my dear friend to have fallen for him so badly - just through those small break time conversations! But the fact that she took two long years to decide if it was actually love or just infatuation, meant that I needed to consider the situation quite seriously.

She opened up to me to reveal that those break time conversations had also at times gone to the extent of going for movies on days when the teachers did not turn up or classes were sparse. Although they would go for such movies as a gang which would include other girls and Zara being one of them. She would spend most of her time watching him over the shoulder of the girl sitting next to him instead of the movie. The joy on his face, the smiles and laughter coming from him would make her enjoy the movie. She also revealed how once on way back from the movies to the college, they struggled to find a cab. They all had to walk down and she walked behind him with another girl. They were all chit-chatting, but her thoughts were fixated on moving between checking out the sides of his eyes and his well-shaped buts.

As Zara was telling me each  and every detail of his love for him - all I could see was how her infatuation towards him was gradually turning into an obsession. She was getting pulled into him like a magnet, whilst I felt that probably he had no idea about all this. Yesterday when for the first time I saw them together outside an ice-cream parlour, what I missed out on seeing was that the other girls who would also hang out together with the two of them were inside the parlour getting their ice-creams. Zara did not want one and the guy was the first one to get his so they both were outside waiting for the others to join. However, whilst the guy was busy attacking his ice-cream, I noticed Zara's eyes staring his lips and his tongue coming out to lick the cream. Their was a faint smile on her face, a happiness coming from standing so close to him. This whole setting of the two of them together, smile on Zara's face, him enjoying the ice-cream, painted a picture that they were a couple - although it was in reality far from that. I confronted Zara with the direct question of whether she had spoken to him about how she felt about him. As anticipated Zara replied in the negative.

Obviously as a friend I want to help Zara, so I could not possibly tell her how stupid she has turned herself into. I had a plan instead - a plan to help Zara confess her one sided love to him. A plan for him to hopefully fall in love with her too. This story will be continued here... as Zara's life moves on...

Journey of being a working mother

We recently went on a trip to Blackpool. This has to be one of the most memorable trips I have had so far. The first proper trip on our own with our new born who is soon going to be all of 15 months. Really time has flown so quickly that I have lost track of what all it entailed. The last clear memories are of the last day at work with the cake, the speeches and the card with lots of scribbles wishing good luck. And the uneasy feeling of what is there to come. After I said good bye to work to embark on a new journey of motherhood - life has been on a roller coaster ride, memories of which are now gradually fading already. Just within a week of bidding adieu to work, I delivered a little princess.

As seamless and joyful were the 9 months of pregnancy, my delivery was equally straightforward. Obviously at that time it did feel like the most arduous experience, one I vouched I will never tread on again. But with the passage of time and having heard of other more painful stories, my discomfort seemed minimalistic. My life was getting filled up with the joyous feeling of being a mother. The first three months are the toughest in terms of raising a child. From being someone who learnt everything from how to hold a baby to changing nappies in an antenatal class, I was gradually becoming a mother - one who knows how to breast feed, is able to understand and differentiate between the various baby cries, make baby burp and wee and poo, sooth her to sleep etc. It is hard work, but unlike corporate hard work where rewards are quantified at the end of the year, nature of reward here is quite different - instantaneous gratification felt at an emotional level.

The 6 months following the most difficult first 3 months were very easy - I went back to India to my parents with my new born and had the comforts and support of family back home. These 6 months flew as if in 6 hours - one of the best periods of my life. My mother was taking care of my daughter and I was taking care of the rest - which included getting 2 hours of body massage every day, getting involved and sorting out any teething issues in my father's business, renovating the house to prepare for my brother's wedding and finally actually attending the Indian wedding. It had everything I could have wished for. Before coming back to London, we decided to go for a short trip to the south of India, covering Chennai, Vellore and Pondicherry. Although exciting in its own way, it was a good lesson on how to take care of a baby on our own. This was the first time we were on our own with our 9 month old daughter and don't think we did a very good job. She fell sick, she became very weak as we did not feed her enough and was taking strong antibiotics. So much so that when my mother saw my daughter only for a night before leaving India to come to London, she got too worried about how frail she had become. In a night, whatever she could, she did to bring my daughter back to normal - this included giving her something to eat every hour or so. We just had not done a good job with regards to her food.

Coming back to London with a 9 month old with the experience and lesson learnt from the Chennai trip meant that we were better prepared and did not take anything for granted. After some initial hiccups I managed to find an amazing child minder who helped us out with taking her regular care. We started very gradually, a couple of hours initially going up to a full day in her 11th month. Once settled in with her, I started exploring joining back to work. I did not want any sudden changes in lifestyle - either for my daughter or for myself. Therefore getting back to work was also in a phased manner including moving my daughter away from breastfeeding to bottle feeding. I wanted to make sure that she was more independent and that I could trust somebody to take care of her when I am at work.

Life since then has been quite routined. She goes to the childminder Mondays to Thursdays and I take Fridays off (a clever tactic I used to not use up all my maternity leaves in one go, but spread them over throughout the year by taking a day off in the week and spending with the little one). Going back to work has been a brilliant feeling after a long hiatus. New and increased challenges have kept me busy so far. I have a busy day at work and busy evenings at home with the little one. I do sometimes miss not having the me-time, but then when I see the smile on her face for no reason or an un-demanded hug from her, all such wants disappear and I feel like spending each and every moment of my conscious self with her.

A decimated legacy

A synonym for decimation these days would be the Congress party in India. Whether it be the national parliamentary elections or the State level assembly elections, Congress is shrinking quicker than comprehensible. Dynasty stuck sycophants do not even realise that their Gandhi obsession is only going to take the party further downhill. Indian voters now demand quality in their leaders, they are looking for fellows who can mobilise masses, lead them, talk to them and act on their requirements. I have always liked Rahul Gandhi - more because of his looks than his political skills though. However these days I look at him and "women emancipation" (from the interview on Times Now with Arnab Goswami) comes to my mind. I don't think Congress will go anywhere if they continue with their obsession with him. Give him a break, let him contemplate, learn the skills needed in this trade and come into it with sharpened weaponry.

For now, the only person who manages to keep the Congress hopes alive in my mind is Shashi Tharoor. I like his demeanour, his oratory skills. Keeping aside the issues surrounding his personal life, Shashi Tharoor has the credibility to become an important personality in Congress. To my mind he is the last hope for the survival of this sinking ship. However, Congressmen look in no mood to shop around - their street starts and ends at the Gandhi house. I will just wait and watch to see how the party revives itself!

India is going to change forever

What a historic moment it has been today! After my last blog post on 30th Dec 2013 when I was feeling at an all time high with the success of a new political party promising on anti-corruption, I had gradually thereafter started feeling disillusioned witnessing the events that followed. As somebody who watches Indian politics closely because I care about the direction India is heading towards, AAP's confused strategies and mindlessness on how only after 49 days of governing Delhi they decided to call it off, I did not know what to hang on to. Thankfully this feeling did not last too long as very soon after this Narendra Modi's rigorous campaign as the BJP's prime-ministerial candidate started. He promised Indian youths like me what we had been waiting to hear - a promise of a strong and stable government in India which will bring change on all fronts. The 10 years of Congress led UPA rule had left India at a disadvantaged position. Whilst in 2004 when they took power there was a real chance of India and China moving head to head with enormous double digit growth rates, in 2014, we heard the Indian finance minister talking about gaining a double digit growth rate somewhere in 2037. That's how far behind we had suddenly fallen in 10 years of the rule, engulfed with corruption charges.

With the tasteless AAP experience although I have become sceptical on how much the Modi led BJP government will deliver, but I am certainly not prepared to give up hope yet. I believe this is a good turning point for Indian democracy - something that the 1.3 billion Indians badly deserved all these years but were denied. The huge victory of BJP turning out to be the largest party claiming majority of parliamentary seats needed to form the government on its own speaks volumes about the campaign that Modi led. He based it on real issues facing the people - governance, anti-corruption, controlling inflation being his main agenda. His resume showing 12 years of rule over Gujarat as a successful Chief Minister added credibility to his claims which voters provided their support to. Motto of "minimum government, maximum governance" that Modi preached was welcomed by one and all and specially the business community.

These past few months have been very eventful and whilst I had quite a lot of opportunity to focus on some personal life changing events, these elections managed to take all my attention instead. I am glad all my attention did not go waste as the outcome today made it all worth it!

Ab Aayega Parivartan - AAP

The new craze in the market is that of AAP. I am sure if not anything else the sale of jhadoos (broomsticks) must have shot up significantly resulting in cleaner (at least literally if not figuratively yet) neighborhoods. I am very optimistic about the possibility AAP brings to the Indian political equation. Their stupendous victory in Delhi assembly elections is an evidence of a changing India, resulting out of mass uprising on increased awareness against corruption and black money.

The 2014 national elections will definitely be fought against this backdrop and probably for the first time in election history more points will be earned on how honestly the elections are fought rather than the free bounties or boozes which had started deciding election outcomes.

AAP for me represents the beginning of a change or parivartan and have just spiced up the dynamics of Indian politics...

The Great Indian Democracy

The beauty with which Indian democracy just reinvented itself is going to go down the history pages as transformational. For long Indians were so convinced that they had in them the 'chalta-hai' (let's-just--move-on) attitude so deeply embedded, that it was unbelievable to anybody that somebody could come up and challenge this in just a span of 12 months. Instead of choosing to sit on the fence and criticize the 'system' for any failings (which we did so often that it had become our second nature), one man with the help of a strong group of like minded people decided to get hands dirty instead. The 'aam aadmi party' (AAP) truly stands for being a party of the people, by the people and for the people. In only 12 months of its existence, it used all the unconventional ways of connecting with people (unconventional as they had been long forgotten by the established parties) and made a huge impact. They communicated their election agenda clearly, went into the homes of people and connected, raised donation for election through transparent means, brought honest candidates with clear records to contest etc. The beauty of Indian democracy is that the people of Delhi (the national capital from where this party fought elections) showed overwhelming support - so much so that they completely uprooted the incumbent government (Congress) and have given a touch fight to the single majority party emerging from the state (BJP).

Now the problem is that the ideological differences between AAP, Congress and BJP are so great that no coalition can be formed. Working as a minority government is neither BJP's nor AAP's preference and they want to sit on the opposition instead. It looks like there will be presidential rule and a reelection, but I ask if the situation is going to be any different then? I suspect we will still be in a deadlock situation post reelections purely because these three parties will again get seats which will not easily form a pure majority and bring forward a similar question.

I think some sense should now prevail and taxpayers money should not be wasted on a reelection. BJP with its stunning victory in the other three state elections of Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh and Chattishgarh have proven that it has people's mandate and should therefore proceed with government formation in Delhi. By 18th Dec the way forward will become clearer, but for now I just can't stop but feel proud on the whole turn of events. Having a multiple party structure democracy makes Indian democracy very versatile, vibrant, dynamic and unpredictable thereby making it very strong.