Indian Youth

I just came back from a birthday party of a friend's son. The little son has turned one today and his proud parents had thrown a party to celebrate that. Obviously as you can see such things don't particularly excite me. What was exciting was to meet a big gathering of Indians in the party and find out what was up in their lives. Most of it was about raising kids in London and long work hours causing hindrance in achieving work life balance. However it all sounded under control and more towards being the usual moaning Indian mentality... I have only seldom come across truly optimistic Indian crowd and today's was no different.

Well this blog post is not about this. What stood out for me was the conversation I had with my friend's brother, who has, a couple of days back, come from India. He used to live in Gurgaon (satellite town of Delhi) with his wife, owned a house (on mortgage) and both husband wife were working. On the outset, it would sound like a perfect set up. Young couple, so still have some time to plan for kids. For me they would classify as an average middle class nuclear family trying to live in big metro cities and making a living on their own. I saw no apparent problems with that and immediately associated him with the new India. However, as we started talking more, he revealed that he has just sold his house, his wife has stayed back in Gurgaon and is living in a paying guest with a female friend and he himself has moved to Ireland to complete a Masters course. A perfectly settled life now suddenly started sounding too unsettled. This major step was not taken in any hurry. The couple had long thought about it and they both felt this to be the right move. Going out of the country, no matter where just seemed the right thing to do. He is frustrated that even with two salaries and yet no dependents, they are not saving enough. The tax structure is flat and the infrastructure is not at all good to justify the high taxes they pay. So here I had, a bright hard - working honest couple who would regularly pay their taxes eager to leave the country asap and throw their lives into uncertainty.

The plan is that the husband will study in Ireland, the wife will join in due course and start looking for a job there and eventually they will settle there bidding adieu to India forever. Obviously I am nobody to comment on whether this is right or wrong being myself a person who left the country for a year but has stayed out for longer than five years now. But I at least do definitely want to go back. I have not, in my heart and soul, yet been able to bid adieu to India. I want to go back at the next available opportunity, just don't know when that would be. This story of a first hand experience of an Indian youth troubled me. I could see India as a push factor - where people like him are being pushed out of the country, where is the pull factor - so that people like me can return to the country?

Clearly the current government has failed. Ten years is a long time to shape a country and India has completely lost shape in this time. Shall we not be definitely looking for a change??? I don't know who is the best alternative, all I definitely know is that the track record shows that no further chances be allowed to the incumbent. Else we will be caught in his infinite loop of pessimism, anxiety and social unrest which will be very difficult to come out of.

An ordinary story like this has caused a lot of pain in my heart. India is under global watch and the next elections are crucial for the country. I wish I was in India to contribute to the turning point of the country, but can I request all my friends and well wishers to go out and vote in the next general elections and contribute towards the change. I believe in change and I desperately want to see a change. India has all the ingredients to become the next big thing, therefore let's just create the right dynamics to achieve that goal!

Media and Debates

Sometimes it makes me really think the huge role media plays in creating and changing perceptions. And therefore such a role needs to be played responsibly. The Indo-Pak coverage, the Modi saga, the scams, the countdown to the elections - everything should be sensibly broadcasted. Indian media is no more restricted only to Indian audiences, it is global. Watching TV talk shows is very frustrating when people who don't know what is the concept of debating are invited. People use loose languages, speak as if they are in their living room discussing those topics. They need to understand that they are on air being watched by millions of Indians and non-Indians at home and abroad. The language needs to be professional and the debate needs to be more organised. I find people talking over each other all the time.

In British culture if you talk over the other person even by mistake, you profusely apologize. And in debates broadcasted on Indian media I find the participants and the host all talking over each other relentlessly. Same point being discussed over and over again, and sometimes really trivial matters made to look big. I do believe that there is a requirement for debate, something that has only recently found a place in Indian democracy. Unlike American democracy where the quality of debate has matured over the period of time. However it is important to understand and acknowledge that we have at this stage is very immatured and unfinished and embarrassing if I may say so. Please please and please let's talk sensibly when we are on air no matter what the topic of discussion is... Let's respect each other's opinions and objectively counter when given a chance to do so. I wish there were some personal development courses that can be made available to politicians, something that is very common in corporate culture. Debating will be the first skill they need to learn before coming on air to discuss their thoughts.

Paisa paisa paisa

Aao sab mile bhed bhao mitakar,
Purani ranjhisho mein aakhir rakkha kya
Kuchh tum apni sunao, kuchh hum sunaye
Kyunki zindagi na milegi dobara!

Kehta hai mera dil mujhse ki tum achchhe ho,
Duniya ke bhatkaye raste par bhatak gaye ho,
Paise ki lalach chhodo, paisa to maya hai
Jeewan mein khush rehna hai to milkar jiyo.

Mujhe nahi woh din yaad jab tum pehle aise the,
Kya hua aisa ki tumhe sabka pyar dhikhta nahi ab
Baki sab jaise the waise hi hai, par tum badal gaye
Pehle wale tum bankar laut aaoge kab?

Jeewan ke har padao ko samaan roop se jiyo,
Apno ko dookh dene wala sookhi rehta hai kya,
Jaise karoge aaj waisa aage khud bhi to bharoge
Itni saral baat samajhna itna kathin hai kya?

Samajhdar ho tum padhe likhe bhi ho,
Dikhta nahi kya tumhe kaisi galtiyan kar rahe ho?
Apno ka saath to kismat walo ko milta hai
Uski paise ke naam par aahuti chada rahe ho?

Paisa paisa, hai paisa, kaisi banayi insaan ne aapda,
Na ho to dookh, jyada ho to pareshani,
Sari samasyaon ki jad hai aaj paisa
Jiske peechhe bhaag rahi yeh duniya bani diwani!!!

And once again

Every year around the time of my birthday I make it a point to write a new post. The whole idea is to document how I am feeling around this time. I believe that life is only as exciting as we make it for ourselves and one would expect that birthdays are a good time to take stock of how exciting I made my life for myself in the last year. I have never felt too upbeat around my birthdays, all my previous posts are an evidence of it. Does it mean that my life is not exciting or I am not enjoying my life? No. I love every day and every moment and thank God for all I have today - great family, good colleagues and caring friends. Though I may not have said enough to these guys as to how much they mean to me. I love everybody I know and want everybody to do well in life. I believe in collective growth... If all of us are doing well, there is only more scope that we all will do even better. A person is great when he has a great company. Some people only want to see others not doing very well, but this way are they not just making their company unsuccessful? Try to stay away from such people, they are in the southwards path and will only pull you downwards.

Being a person not too driven by achieving material goals, for me success is more defined around how I have been able to contribute to the long term purpose of my life. And with every birthday gone, I feel pressured as I get closer to what I define as long term goals. Material goals can be short term and easier to define as accomplished... Long term qualitative goals defined to achieve purpose of life are more difficult to assess for accomplishment. This is what causes the not too great feeling during birthdays.

It has been just over 3 years running the charity Friends of Salaam Baalak Trust (FoSBT) and I feel happy with the regular stream of donations we have been able to generate for street and working children in India. I don't feel satisfied though as I know that there is a lot more we could do. Please help me in spreading the word amongst people in India and abroad who feel for such causes and want to support. Your time spent in talking about such issues can be as useful as raising money. So please spread the word!

I want to live in a world where all of us have equal opportunities. I don't want to wait for it to happen, I want to make it happen. If we all do our bit towards this, there will surely be a birthday when I will truly and deeply feel happy celebrating it!!

Hay Fever and Yoga

Warm Sunday afternoons would normally be the weather one craves for England, however this year's summer has been different for me so far. Some of my friends are telling me that this is a sign of having become purely "british" now as I have managed to catch what is called "hay fever". It has been more than 5 years that I have been living here, but this is the first of its kind experience for me. Constantly running nose, itchy eyes, mild forehead ache, coughing and sneezing - all this comes with being allergic to pollens. During summers when the rest of the country craves for hot weather, people suffering from hay fever crave for cold and wet weather as that reduces the pollen count in the air. Therefore, today (warm Sunday afternoon) whilst the rest of the Britian is out under the sun in the parks playing or getting sun-tanned, I am sitting in the house with windows as closed as possible (don't forget that we would normally not have fans or coolers in England) and typing this blog post. Sigh!!

Most of my work colleagues have either themselves or their spouses suffering from this annoying condition (it is not a disease and therefore not communicable). Last week, a colleague sitting beside me had to rush her husband to the hospital A&E due to him being coughing incessantly. It was then diagonsed as chest infection (caused by stored cough from hay fever which he did not manage to clean out of his body). My routine at home has been that of either cleaning or blowing my nose or sneezing. Poor nose - I have been making it suffer so much! But this way at least I am making sure that all the cough is coming out instead of getting stored inside and jamming other organs.

There are some Indian yogic remedies that can help sooth and to some extent also cure this allergy. Some of them are listed below for those who are able to do them (I should myself follow them instead of preaching, just that they need the discipline which I am currently lacking) -

Pranayam - Pranayam are some breathing yogas which strengthen lungs. They therefore help in reducing coughing and sneezing and keeping your nose clean and clear. I have learnt some of them from the Indian saint Baba Ramdev's shows on TV channel Aastha. A simple Google search will land you to those videos teaching how to do them.

Kunjal Kriya - My husband has been insisting that I perform Kunjal Kriya. In this you are supposed to drink like 2 - 2.5 litres of warm salted water in one go and then forcing yourself to vomit to bring it all out. He says that this vomit of water then brings out all impurities from the stomach and also will help me clean up my cough completely. I agree with him - I have tried it twice and it has helped me a lot. It does need a lot of strength though and I have to relax for some time after I have done this. It is not recommended to be done on a daily basis.

Jal Neti - My brother has been insisting that I perform Jal Neti. This is the yoga in which you take in water from one nostril and take it out from the other nostril. You need a tool to do which my husband can use perfectly to perform the act, however I have miserably failed to get the water out of the other nostril. It needs a lot of practice, and my attempts so far have failed. This will further help to ensure that the passage in my nose is clean and therefore any allergens would not be able to titillate my senses to cause sneezing.

Being a person who prefers natural remedies over allopathic medicines, I intend to religiously start trying the above three yogic remedies. They do not have any side effects (though I urge anybody reading this and attempting to first make sure that they have understood the process from a professional) and can cure multiple ailments.Yoga is a powerful tool which we hardly use to cure ourselves of all ailments. And not just curing physical ailments, but the discipline, patience, calmness and energy that it instills also helps in keeping our mind sound and serene.

Secret admirer

This weekend was about cleaning... destroying items that have not been used for years (as most likely they will not be used in future also) and shredding items from old document folders. I stumbled upon an envelop addressed to me (with slight misspelling of my surname). This was at a time when I used to live in DU post-graduate hostel during 2005 - 2006. I opened the envelope and found a short poem dedicated to me anonymously. I have some vague memories of receiving this when I was in the hostel and discussing about it with my close friends. Don't think I paid much attention to it that time, but reading it after so many years, I am finding the text quite cheeky! I have jotted the content of the note below verbatim:

My words dedicated to you... 

When you get close - I get weak 

Still feels good - still runs deep 

I want to know you deep inside 

Hear every thought and see every dream 

Anyway - I just want to say 

I love the way you looked that day

With your hair hanging down on your shoulders 

The way you do everything but talk

And how you stare at me with those eyes 

And your breath on my body makes me warm inside 

A memory - to ignite me for ever 

I think about you all the time 

Can't you see you drive me out of my mind

Yes I never want this dream to end 

stranger329@hotmail.com